Laura asked us All to BLOG on 1 simple question, "What has been the biggest change in me since I started the contest." Sounds easy but really it isn't.  I've spent the weekend thinking about it,  that  only kept creating more questions. 

 

Why am I doing this contest? - I'm competitive and this gives me the motivation to do what I should do anyway.

 

 Why do I WANT to lose weight? - So I look better, for my mental image and my wife.  So I can be around to watch my wonderful new grandson grow up and the rest of my kids have grand kids.  So I can be energetic enough to enjoy doing things with my wife and kids. 

 

What is my ultimate goal? Weight under 200.  Cholesterol under 180.  BP at or under normal.  energy, energy, energy.

 

It would be simple to say the biggest chage is my clothes fitting better (my wife noticed I had on a pair of "skinny" shorts this weekend.)  Or I feel better (which I do).   I think the biggest change is my awareness and expectations. 

 

I am now more aware of my triggers and problems, for me PB&J is like crack, lol.  I went the first 2 months not having it in the house.  I just can't resist it on some nice fresh bread.  Last month I convinced myself I could behave and Picked up the PB.  Bad move.   Stress, good and bad, and emotional situations, both good and bad, are my triggers.  My daughter had my first grandchild last month and I lapsed using that as an excuse to fall into bad habits (see the beginning of this paragraph PB&J).  getting out of the downhill slide is the key.  I have to understand that with the awareness of what is my triggers and danger foods comes the responsibility to myself not to set myself up for failure or make excuses for lacks in judgement. 

 

The  other thing is my expectations.  I think I am expecting more from myself now.  Holding myself responsible for my good and bad moments as opposed to looking for an outside reason they happened.  the birth of that bundle of joy didn't make me eat.  I used it as an excuse to not follow what had been working.

 

Now after the weigh in I have given up a 10 lb cushion.  Unacceptable.  I need to make it up in this next 5 weeks.  Goal 3o lbs.  Bit extreme but I think just being off the steroids and back at the gym will count for an easy 10.  The rest is up to me.